My morning began with a pounding headache, no doubt karma punishing me for calling in sick. To make matters worse, Connor was steadfastly refusing to pee in the backyard.
We went through this ritual once a month or so. He would refuse to use the bathroom. I would refuse to take him into the front yard. I cajoled, begged and threatened. He stared me in the eyes and silently reminded me of the new carpet. He always won.
Reluctantly, I grabbed his leash and my robe. We headed into the front yard where he immediately relieved himself and began the slow meandering trip around the yard.
The flower beds need serious work, I thought, and was mentally listing things I needed to do when my face hit the grass and began plowing a furrow as my darling dog dragged me like a bobsled toward the street.
“Are you okay?” A voice came from somewhere above me as Connor eagerly greeted its owner. I slowly raised my eyes to meet smiling brown ones in return. Eyes that were attached to my gorgeous UPS delivery man.
“Yes. I think.” I slowly climbed to my feet. “Thanks.” Connor continued to hop in circles, vying for Mr. UPS’s attention. Only when I felt the breeze did I realize my robe was wide open, exposing the plunging neckline that had seemed so daring the night before. If I had only known!
Clutching furiously with the hand not attached to Connor, I managed to pull my robe together.
He pretended not to notice and I gave him a brief, but grateful, smile. I signed for my package quickly. After all the retail therapy trying to start a conversation with him, all I could think about was escaping.
“You’re a handful, aren’t you boy?” He rubbed Connor behind the ears while I feebly attempted to gather my dignity. “Take care,” he said with a last, beautiful smile as he returned to his truck. I was left holding Connor and my package, with the slogan “What can Brown do for you?” running through my head.